Words

This week I received two letters. One from somebody special who is of a higher status that an ordinary friend, and another from a colleague whom I’ve grown close to at work and has become a friend to keep. Both of which letters made me feel human in different ways. One made me realise that I’m actually capable of feeling heartbreak, and questioned my maturity in handling relationships. The other made me feel so warm and fuzzy all over every pores on my skin.

The first left me with a huge sense of guilt, and it sent me plunging deep into an atmosphere of silence. I’ve underestimated what I am actually capable of making people feel, and I’ve underestimated what I thought I was unable to feel. Sometimes even when we have no ill intentions at all to cause any hurt to anybody, people around us still get affected by our decisions.

The second letter made me feel bittersweet. Bitter for my departure, and sweet for having made a wonderful friend.

I’ve always been a visual person, I get attached to visuals more than words, I even feel more when I see than I touch. I can try to write by stringing my limited sets of words together but they are of no literary genius. This week I’ve felt so much through words, words from those two letters, and it is interesting how each letter dug out different emotions from me.

I’m an alien learning to feel, I never believe or thought that I’m able to have an impact on people, or to be of any slight importance to anyone, or be able to cause hurt, or bring joy. Now I know I actually do have these abilities. I never will like goodbyes.